Choices

Today, I made a choice to be happy.

That's what it was. A choice.

Because I can't control what happens to me. What others do or don't do. What is said or not said. I can't control if my baby wakes up with a snotty nose or if I still can't hear out of my left ear (How long does it take an ear infection to go away???). I can't control that my husband left us. That his thoughts and his mind are clearly not his own. That he may or may not choose to return. That he may or may not ever love me or want me again. I can try to do things, but ultimately, what he decides is his decision, if he stays or goes, and I can only do so much.

What I can control, however, is me. I can control how I react.

And how I have reacted so far is this...
Anger.
Bitterness.
Sadness.
Crying.
Talking with friends.
Hugging my baby.
Being a good mommy.
Being a bad mommy who fed her baby a cupcake for breakfast.
Being a bad mommy who laid on the couch while her baby watched an hour of Bubble Guppies...okay, an hour and a half of Bubble Guppies... standing on a stepstool...right in front of the tv.
More crying.
Being hurt. Feeling crushed. Feeling alone. Feeling unwanted and unloved and miserable and like a part of me has died on the inside.

But today, I decided to look at the bright side. Perhaps not the bright side of being left. But, I looked at what was good:
My cinnamon crunch bagel at Panera with honey walnut cream cheese.
Playdate with my friends at the park.
Picnic lunch, complete with a Dorito-hungry toddler.
Fresh peach for snack.
Humorously finding holes in all but three of Zoey's sippies.
Taking out the trash and cleaning the microwave because I know there is no one else to do it.
Wiping a snotty baby face.
Wiping a snotty baby face again.
A random kiss from said snotty faced baby at Panera.
Seeing a friend randomly in town. And getting hugs.
Cuddle time.
An independent toddler who enjoyed having the playground at the park almost all to herself.
Going down the slide.
Putting Zoey on my shoulders on top of the swingset and seeing all we could see.
Drying three slides at the park with a cardigan from my car.
A free mocha cookie crumble frappuccino from Starbucks.
Making a new recipe for dinner.
Zoey making up for not eating much yesterday by devouring five chick'n nuggets for dinner.
Coloring with markers while laying on the living room floor.
Being instructed to draw "wawa" on different parts of the paper for the fish I drew.
Zoey hugs.
All of my aquarium fish are still miraculously alive months after I bought them!
Clean kitchen. Three dirty cups in the dishwasher. No other dirty dishes!
Clean baby. She was pretty dirty today.
Bike ride around the neighborhood.
"Hot Cross Buns," "ABC Song," and "The Wheels on the Bus"...a million or so times.
A bunch of silly animals on that bus... singing while swinging.
Finding the first zucchini of the season on our plant! Sending a picture of Zoey with the zucchini to my mother-in-law. She's got her Pappy's gardening genes, she says.
Nap time.

So today, despite what I was handed in life, I chose happiness. And it worked. What a powerful thing, to be able to determine the outcome of your day. Today, I choose...

Tomorrow, I hope he comes to counseling... So many things I want to say. I want him to choose happiness. I want him to choose his family. I want him to come home. For me. And for Zoey. And for himself.

But no matter what happens, I know what I choose for myself.

(P.S. Today, I accomplished a school task! And I have made all but one of the recipes I intended to make last week! My school stuff pile has decreased by half. And the rest of my house is pretty impressively clean. Knowing it's just you and no one else is going to clean something...well, that's pretty motivational as well. That trash isn't going to take itself out, so I might as well do it now... otherwise, it's just going to be me doing it later...)

Falling All Apart

The best laid schemes of mice and men. Often go awry.

Well, ladies and gentlemen... a week in, and did I do it? Did I get everything on my list accomplished? 

No.

Nothing like...

Your boss getting demoted, work drama, and having no idea what next year will be like because you will have a new boss with new demands, and your job may very well be a living hell... Thanks, Monday.

Your very first ear infection. Thanks, Wednesday.

And your husband out of the blue handing you his wedding ring, telling you he hasn't loved you or even liked you or been happy for a while, and leaving. Thanks, Tuesday.

And then he continues to show up randomly throughout the week just to play good guy daddy and leave again, and you tell him he has to choose either staying or leaving. And he chooses to leave. Not only me. But his daughter. The best thing in the entire world for him. On Father's Day. Thanks, Sunday.

Nothing like that to ruin all your plans for the week...

Missions for This Week:

1. Keep myself busy with friends.

2. Attend Common Core training... which I was looking forward to...and now am totally not in that frame of mind.

3. Attend marriage counseling...which he said he would come for. And now I'm not so sure.

4. Make not very ambitious or costly dinners but try to get in all those recipes I didn't get in last week.

5. Still need to do something about all that school stuff in my bedroom...

6. Survive. 

7. Cry more...because I have to.

8. Laugh more...because I need to.

9. Say more profanity...because being angry keeps me from being dead on the inside.

10. Enjoy the 24/7 time I get with my daughter, because she keeps me alive, even when all we are doing is cuddling on the couch watching morning cartoons.

Anything else I get done will just be icing on the cake at this point. I'll try to recipe review later on... But for now, more than anything, I need sleep...

Bathroom Organization... And Some Rolls

Week 1... Part 1

Okay, so I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!

What did I do? 

Organized my bathroom, that's what!

(I told you those "before" photos were inspirational...)

So, here they are... the "before" pics:

This is the master bathroom closet. You can tell I've attempted organization in here before with these bins.

And under my sink. I tried to organize here too.

Under Dan's sink. Not really organized...at all.

Our bathroom drawers.

The "toothpaste" drawer... kind of.

Dan's drawer...um...yeah. There is no "after" pic for this one.

My drawer. See? I'm actually an organized person! Don't give up on me yet!

And the dirty bathroom counter. I will actually admit... I can't quite remember the last time I cleaned it... eek...

Okay, now, don't worry... it all turned out okay! In just two short days! And I even made it out of my pajamas and did all those mommy things too!

How did I do it?

Well, I really really really wanted to organize my medicine. That was the whole inspiration behind organizing the bathroom. Because, if you look up at that first picture, you will see a whole SHELF of medications overflowing from some clear plastic bins. That closet was kind of like a pharmacy. But, we had NO idea what was in there. We were always looking for eye drops or wondering if we had sinus medication. And there were so many medications, we most often just gave up looking and went and bought more of whatever we wanted/needed at the moment. "Hey, do we have any NyQuil?" "I don't know. Do you want me to check?" "Nah, I'll just run and grab some at the Dollar General." (Never before that Dollar General was built did I think I would EVER shop at a Dollar General on a semi-regular basis. But, alas, it's the only 5 minutes from my house as compared to 15 minutes for everything else...so, it doesn't really matter how much milk costs... I'll be buying that $4 gallon if Zoey's out at bedtime.) Anyway, the first thing I wanted to do was organize my medicine. So, that's what I did first.

I sat down with a notebook and went through all of the medication in the closet. I made lists of the types of medication we had - pain/anti-inflammatory, prescriptions, cold & sinus, etc. I came up with about 10, and knowing that I wanted those little 3-drawer systems, I went ahead and divided things up into 12 so I would have all drawers occupied. This happened to include band-aids & gauze and creams like Neosporin. Once I realized that I would be organizing that kind of stuff too, I just took off and created little labels for EVERYTHING. I sat down at my computer last night and typed a label sheet (the little 5160 Avery labels that come 30 to a sheet) FULL of every type of thing in my bathroom, including an "Other" for all those "other" things I would undoubtedly find. I ended up with 28 labels. I printed them out, stuck them on some card stock, and ran to the teacher store for laminating this morning (Zoey loves the teacher store, so it was a win-win).

After laminating this morning, Zoey and I took a few more trips, the one pertaining to this organization being WalMart. Ahh...the dreaded WalMart. Besides being horrendously disorganized and a pain to park, Zoey also managed to figure out how to slither out of the buckle (and I had to be smarter than the toddler and figure out how to TIGHTEN said buckle) and climb from the seat portion of the cart to the storage portion of the cart...all while I was trying to pick up a big stack of drawer systems stacked too precariously high that I knocked all over the floor, much to the enjoyment of the men standing around laughing in the hardware section. No, no help needed...thanks for ASKING. Anyway, this trip to WalMart involved no toddler shoes in the mouth, and I was able to get four of those 3-drawer thingies for $9 each. So, success...

(Side note of a not-so-success - I totally skipped out on my lunch bill. I did. I successfully took a 22 month old out to lunch at a sit-down restaurant BY MYSELF, went to change her diaper, and walked right out of the restaurant with the ticket in the diaper bag pocket. Unpacking the diaper bag later, I called to see if I could pay over the phone. They told me just to bring in the ticket on my next visit and thanks for my honesty...whoops... The waitress was kind of crappy, but I think I still owe her a big tip.)

So, after all of our park, grocery shopping, and other adventures out on the town, we returned home to cut out lamination (me), organize medication (me), clean the bathroom (me), and nap (Zoey). 

Thanks to some new drawers, my new labels, some Velcro dots, and one little helper (I use the word helper loosely - this happened to be the helper who helped by letting me clean and organize while playing in the room with me and not screaming at the top of her lungs for me to hold her or let her play in the sink...again) the finished organized bathroom finally came together by about 9:30 this evening... 

Now, for the "after" pics... Ahhh.....

After: Underneath my sink! Ta-da!

The new "toothpaste" drawer - you can actually tell it's a toothpaste drawer now!

My drawer - looks the same, just a little cleaner...

Under Dan's sink. Totally improved. This "Other" bin happens to be mouth care...whoops.

I cleaned. :)

The NEW organized master closet. Sigh...

The medicine drawers are all organized - finally! 

I even left spaces for toilet paper and tissues! And remember, these are attached with Velcro dots...so they're easily moved around and interchangeable. 

Wow - seriously, I have like a dozen shower gels! Who knew?

All that NyQuil we kept buying? It just barely fit in that Cold, Cough, & Sinus drawer. We have way more cold medicine than any family really should.

Dan patronized me, of course. The cats, meowing for dinner...he says, "Oh, I wonder where the cat food could be. Oh! Convenient! Here it is next to the  Cat Food label." Boo...

My girly stuff all organized.

Doesn't get much more girly than this...a nail polish & makeup tray? Yep. And that is a big ole diamond ring paperweight in the middle! Thanks for noticing! 

The view from the mirror...

Ahh...isn't it spectacular? 

Does it inspire you? 

Really, it wasn't all that difficult. I accomplished this task with a TODDLER in less than two days. And by toddler, I mean a toddler.all.day.long. As in, the only break I got today was NAPTIME...between the time Dan left for work at 6:25 am and returned after hanging out with his friend at 8:00 pm. Yes, so...if I can do this in less than two days while being a single mommy to a 22 month old, including a trip to the teacher store, WalMart, the park, lunch out - FAIL, and the weekly grocery shopping... you can totally do this! :) And you will be on an organizational high like me! (Thus still awake blogging about organized medicine drawers at 11 pm...)

And what about those rolls?

Well, I made a copycat recipe today for Sister Schubert rolls...you know, those sweet delicious yeasty kind that come frozen in the aluminum pie pans? I altered the recipe a bit and they didn't come out QUITE right...so, the roll recipe will have to wait until I make a few more adaptations... they were close, even fooled Dan into thinking they were actually the real thing - apparently my husband has never had a homemade roll before - WHAT?!?!? - but I'm thinking they need a bit more sugar... so, I will experiment next week and give you my final review and recipe at that time...

So, not bad for Week 1. And...it's only Monday! 

Pinterest Projects

Pinterest Projects

Making the Most of Summer...

Well, if you are like me, your Pinterest boards cite your ideal home, IKEA furniture spiced up with cool accent pillows and easy-sewing projects, homemade cleaning products from nothing but vinegar, water, and lemon juice, and a ridiculous number of chocolate delicacies.

And if you are like me, you spend way more time on your couch, on your iPhone, on the laptop, in front of the tv, chasing after your children, cleaning up after your children, feeding your children, and...oh...work, than you do trying to organize your life like Pinterest says you can.

Simply, if you are like me, you live in a world of perfect imperfection, always dreaming about that organized closet, those cute organic perfect elementary school lunches, and those fabulous non-Pintrosity peanut butter cookies which claim to only have 36 calories each.

But why just dream? Why not make those boards a reality?

No, really. I'm not kidding! 

You know all those pins that inspire you to tackle just one chore per day, one extra chore per week, a special chore every month? Well, this is like that plan. But, here, my plan becomes a reality.

So, follow me as I make the most of my summer... One week at a time. One project at a time. One step at a time to an organized me... An organized happy home. New recipes. New school projects. Making everything just a little bit better...a little bit easier.

How will I do it?

Well, first of all... I am a teacher. I am "off" during the summer. That helps. I put "off" in quotation marks because half of my time in the summer is spent on what I'll call...professional development. I never...never get anything new done in the school year. August is a rush of paperwork followed by a year of stress, parents, children, administration, things that must be done... and then it ends in a rush of paperwork on May. So, a lot of the projects you will see on this page will be school-related. Specifically, 1st grade. I have created a to-do list for myself and set myself a goal of FIVE school projects completed each week. One week down in the summer so far, and I've already crossed off ten... of course, I left the harder, more complex, time-consuming ones for later...so we'll see how this one goes...

Second, besides my school projects, I am attempting to tackle ONE new thing a week. Because I'm off, I'm tackling each category each week. Although, if you are living in the real world, you may just want to stick to one task per week period. My categories are: school, food, cleaning, and organization. This means, each week, I will attempt to accomplish at least five new school projects, make at least one new recipe, complete one deep cleaning project, and accomplish one organizational task - say, a closet. We're not talking rip my closet out and start from fresh here...we're talking cleaning out, reorganizing, and labeling kind of things.

Third, I am setting up a to-do list for myself each week. I am one of those people. I need to-do lists. I put things on there like my daughter's mommy-and-me swim class, storytime at the library, a date at the park and The Cookie Store, making bread, cleaning the bathroom, etc. Sometimes, when I am feeling especially unproductive, things like "get out of bed," "watch Bubble Guppies," and "make and eat lunch" appear on my to-do lists. That way, I always get something crossed off for the day. :) So, on these to-do lists, I am putting all of my projects for the week as well. Sometimes an entire project may be completed in a day. Sometimes, I may break it into several small projects across the week.

So, that's the plan... 

And here is how I've already started. Try this. I swear it is motivational.

This morning, I went around to the most unorganized places in my house and took pictures. It was painful. You know when you do something fantastic in your house and then think, "I should've taken before and after pics!" Yep. Well, you should've. In my next blog, I will post my pictures. Then, they will be out there for the world to see...and that will be even more motivational. Letting you see all of the most horrible places in my house where papers are stacked up, files are overflowing, and expired prescription medications are covered in dust and cat hair. Yep, I'll say that's motivation for wanting to make things in my house look nice. The unorganized places were mostly closets and cabinets - the master closet, the guest closet, my daughter's closet, all the bathroom cabinets, the linen closets, and of course, under the sink. The pantry, also a gigantic disaster thanks to Publix's BOGOs. 

So, here we go...

And without further adieu, here are this week's projects:

School: (We'll get into this later...)

Food: (lots of them here - I'm feeling excited about these this week): 

Summer Corn Salad

Falafel "Burgers"

Greek Pasta Salad

Fresh Salsa (I just bought a mini food processor last week and am in LOVE)

Chickpea Tomato Salad with Basil

Cleaning: 

Couch, Chair, & Stool Cleaning - with alcohol - yes, this works... I'll explain later...

Organization: 

Bathroom Closet, including Organized Medicine Drawers

Fridge & Freezer Organization/ Cleaning

School Project Organization (You will see in the pictures on the next blog that currently, all of my "school stuff" is in two huge piles in my bedroom. I need to get all of that out of the way somehow this week so I can really dig into more school projects.)

Wish me luck! I will see you soon!!!